How are you dealing with the hardships in Europe?

I came to Sweden to do my masters degree 6 years ago and then sought asylum at the end of my study in 2005. Unfortunately, my request was rejected by Swedish authorities several times and right now I'm living underground at my friend's place searching for the worst menial jobs in the country but to no avail; since most employers require not only work permit but also residence permit. Unlike most refugees, I had a promising career, good education and was in Europe 6yrs prior I sought asylum. So, I knew how hard life in Europe is/was and I did a conscious decision when I sought asylum because I really need a protection and live a life free of fear, intimidation and daily harassment by complete strangers back home. Getting a better life or making money was the least of my priorities. I sacrificed everything I build up all of my life to lead a free life but it turned out to be a nightmare. I had  one of the most respected profession in the world, interviewed ministers, presidents, business-persons, ordinary people, athletes etc and yet I wasn't ashamed to do some of the jobs which most average people look down until the Swedish police/immigration office took me away from my work place where I work as a cleaner on a cruising boat and then stopped my contract 3yrs ago. Right now, every single day is a nightmare, waiting for unknown and unpredictable. I don't have a past, neither a present nor a future. I feel like an alien and a living dead person without a purpose for that reason I cut off all my contacts with my family, friends, and colleagues because I'm so embarrassed of my situations. I was stuck where I was 6yrs ago and it's so frustrating to answer questions like if I have job, if I could go back to visit my family or about latest updates in my life which don't exist ever since I came here. It's a slow death which is painful, am I coward? I think so, I guess I should go back home and face the inevitable.

Hi Awash,

I live in Sweden as well, but unlike you , I'm from elsewhere from Europe. So , I have all the permits and so on. What is see funny ( not bad way ) is that Sweden for example needs educated persons , they need more tax payers and still they not allowing Africans to get work. I would agree that Sweden can't take all the refugees , but I still think that in here , if some company for example provided you work, you should get automaticly working visa at least. Sorry to say but all the European countries as well most of their citizens see Africans un-educated , lazy and so. So, if you can't speak Swedish like natives and don't know how to make Swedish food, you are un-educated...If you not work, you are lazy, but then again, how can you work, if you don't have a permit to work. Well, if you work dark, then you breaking the law. See the pattern.